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This is, unsurprisingly, pretty strongly gendered: There are tons of men who are, say, 36, and list their dating age range from 20 – 35, or women who are 28 and list their dating age range from 29 – 44.If you really won’t date someone your own age (or a few years older or younger), ask yourself what’s going on when you, a 35-year-old grown-ass man, feel like you would have more in common with a woman who just reached legal drinking age than with a woman two years your senior, who is much more likely to be in a similar place career- and experience-wise.For this discussion refers to your first message in online dating.

Don’t be the guy who every girl is like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” Yes, we’ve all been burned while dating, and we all have loooooong lists of things we don’t want in a partner.I would write overly long and, in my head, witty emails that very rarely received responses. My rule here is very simple: keep your first email very short.Once, I wrote no less than two pages based on a girl’s heading to her profile. I thought I was making conversation but all I was making was a girl scared. Give anything longer than three sentences a good, hard look before sending.There’s nothing wrong with looking for a little naked fun, but keep in mind that your co-workers, neighbors and acquaintances also have access to the internet.And seriously consider whether you want to publicize your wheelchair fetish, your juggalo ex-boyfriend or the crimes you regularly commit.

I spend lots of time in this column and over at A(n)nals of Online Dating documenting the worst of the worst internet daters. But there are also some really good ones — and some mediocre ones that could be so much better if not for rookie mistakes.

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