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You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here.

If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice.

In the meantime, you should distance yourself even further from your mother.

She’s toxic and awful and, though you may never stop loving her, I would caution against ever having a relationship with her again.

She explained that her current boyfriend was accusing her of passing on the disease and was threatening to take her to court because she had kept it hidden. I have something, an STD.” I asked him who he had been with besides me; he said, “You already know who!

He unlocked his phone and deleted the message and said, “You’re being ridiculous.” I started losing my cool. ” My husband came in screaming, telling me to return to our bedroom because I’d lost my mind. The next afternoon, my mother suggested I see a therapist and maybe ask for an antidepressant after my pregnancy because I’m paranoid and anxious.

Don’t rush back into his arms and don’t make the mistake of sweeping this under the rug and moving forward like nothing happened because you think that’s easier and less painful and will keep your family intact.

Living in denial won’t really keep your family intact. It won’t get rid of the rage inside you that needs some place to go. And until you accept that he is just as responsible for having sex with your mother as she is for having sex with him, you aren’t ready to move forward.

I’ve spent a few weeks without him, focusing on the kids but also getting needed alone time to cry, grieve, and process. I know I don’t need him–I am positive I can raise and support my children on my own–but I’m truly in love with this man.

I don’t want to stay with him because of the kids, I want to stay with him because of ME.

(Quick note: He and I and our newborn have been tested for HSV-2 as well as other STDs and have tested negative).

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