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Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).

They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.

Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.The USP: Their mantra and methodology is explained thus: 'Each day at noon, guys will receive up to 21 quality matches – known as “Bagels”. Then, Coffee Meets Bagel will curate the best potential matches for women among the men who expressed interest.'Pros: A more curated selection than just endlessly swiping through everyone.Cons: The app requires you to give over control over to someone else to decide for you.which might get in the way of sweet conversation." At first, her disclosure strikes you as too much information.But then it gets you thinking: You're single, too — what could be so bad about a casual night in bed with someone you like but don't love?

Mature sex partners do not have the best track record when it comes to using condoms, but at least they're likelier to use them when they know very little about a partner's sexual past — or present!

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    The alcohol probably gave me the confidence to go for it in the backseat of my parents’ car.

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