How to start dating after death of a spouse
'We were lying in bed when he said he wanted me to meet someone else after he was gone,' says Michelle.'He said I deserved to be happy again.' One can only imagine, however, that he was relieved by Michelle's response.
Five months later, hospital tests revealed that the tumour was back. He opted to have gruelling bouts of chemotherapy and radiotherapy to prolong his life. Eventually Jon initiated a conversation about the future and, in particular, the chance of Michelle finding love again.
And at the end of the evening, she found herself in his house.
— Sometime after the death of your spouse, you will begin to think about dating, especially if you liked being married. But whenever you start, you’ll probably feel guilty, like you’re cheating on your wife or husband. Women typically aren’t in a hurry because they have a larger circle of friends for sharing their grief. Don’t expect them to know what foods you like or to get your jokes.
"' Jon died, at the age of just 31, in May 2006, Michelle found it hard to watch as friends got on with their lives. Unaware of the moral maze she was entering, she also told Jon's family. When I was with him, I somehow felt I was still close to Jon. 'Jon's friends and family will never accept my behaviour. 'But if I hadn't loved Jon so much and missed him so desperately, I wouldn't have needed Ade so badly.
'But Adrian phoned regularly and visited every weekend to check on us,' she says. His grieving mother put a brave face on the situation and told Michelle that she was happy for her. It must have been painful for her thinking of me with another man, but that didn't make it wrong. Only the other day, I was at the supermarket when I bumped into a woman who used to be a good friend. He helped me through the blackest period of my life.You can casually chat with women and see how you feel. It’s okay to talk about your wife, of course, because she was a big part of your life and her death continues to affect you, so your grief is a topic of discussion.