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Growth may make the pain meaningful and bearable, but it does not deny the hurt.

For decades, nearly all the psychological research into trauma and recovery has focused on the debilitating problems that people face, but Option B speaks of the paths people can take to heal from their experiences and discover new meaning in their lives.

These healing emotions don’t need to be hastily imposed onto people.

Joy, gratitude, and meaning naturally arise when grieving people are given time and help to bear their intense emotions.

\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n I'm not finished but I wanted to chime in right away.

I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor, part-time teacher at Colorado Christian University, and published author.

Following a traumatic experience, most people experience a range of problems: Trouble sleeping, nightmares, agitation, flashbacks, emotional numbness, avoiding reminders of the traumatic event, anxiety, anger, guilt, hyper-vigilance, depression, isolation, suicidal tendencies, etc.Instead, Grant’s strategies sidestep anguishing emotions and push them underground where they fester and cause problems—years later and in future generations.I think it was irresponsible of the publisher to allow two unqualified people to make these damaging universal suggestions to grieving and traumatized people. (Whether she and the general public want to believe it or not, two years into widowhood is very early.) Though I would have supported her writing a memoir of her early widowhood; I think it’s naïve for her to advise anyone on how to deal with grief and trauma for the long haul. He has zero training for working with people who are going through intensely emotional experiences, and no knowledge of up-to-date emotion science.Posttraumatic growth is not the same as an increase in well-being or a decrease in distress.And even for those who do experience growth, suffering is not mitigated in the aftermath of tragedy.

Though Sandberg was able to harness her strong achievement-drive to employ Grant’s tools for dominating her grief and leaping toward joy, all of the tools spring from a hijacking of a narrow theory about the single personality trait of resilience for willfully overpowering anguish.

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