Dating widower problems
" Be self-assured It may take great effort of your part but you need to know yourself and feel secure enough to handle your date’s erratic feelings.
Claudia Jean says "As the potential new love interest, your sense of self needs to be centered enough to allow your date to deal with putting a passed love in perspective.
Then your date can discover where you might fit in with his or her future.
She further adds that "When you encourage and validate the love your date has felt, chances are good that the same ability to love will move forward towards you. Some widows/widowers say that for the relationship to work, they need a partner who is secure enough to let allow their partner (the widow/widower) to deal with his/her erratic feeling and help them with these without feeling threatened.
Dating someone who has lost someone very dear is a very delicate situation.
For one, the person may still have strong feelings tied up in the previous relationship and it’s untimely end. In fact, they most likely have not dated for a considerable length of time that they may have forgotten how to approach it again.
This suppression takes its toll on the woman, especially if she does not have support from others who understand.
Additionally, most people assume that a widower had a wonderful marriage since it did not end by choice.
Wouldn’t you hope that the new love would be fond of your memory?This could lead you to question that previous relationship. Claudia Jean, creator of a seminar series on a mid-life dating, says "there may also be a lingering sense of ‘cheating’ that must be worked through.However, that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing a relation with a widow or widower. Unless you are recently single, your dating skills should include the ability to be still and let this wonderful human being move toward you." Ask questions early on Susan Shapiro Barash, author of and a professor at Marymount Manhattan College says "It’s best to be forthright…".Hollywood loves this storyline, as does country music, and popular fiction. And the widower is human and has faults, just like anyone else.The man is viewed as being virtually without faults because his relationship ended by chance, and not by anything of his own doing. A woman who dates a widower encounters these assumptions frequently.by Gracie Society tells us a lot of things about the widower.