Dating family friends daughter
If you're reading this, I'm guessing you know exactly the kind of tension I'm talking about!It can be so painful and frustrating, and even if your daughter knows deep down that her mom is right (like I did), she often still needs to experience the relationship and its consequences herself before she'll admit it.But hopefully at least one of these ideas will resonate for you.1) Try to see what your daughter sees in this person.I know you probably want to pull your hair out knowing your daughter's friend doesn't deserve her, or are wishing that her boyfriend would just move to another city (or country... Unfortunately, there's no magic dust I can send you to make that person go away, but I can give you some suggestions from our amazing Ask Elizabeth girls and experts on how to deal with the situation.There's no one-size-fits-all answer; every situation is different, and only you can know which approach is right for your specific dynamic.
On the one hand, because you're such a protective and loving mom, you probably want to barricade the front door and not let that person within 10 feet of your precious girl (believe me, when I've heard girls in workshops talk about bad news boyfriends or mean friends, I've felt the exact same way! But at the same time, you don't want to go too far and drive a wedge between the two of you. When I received this question from a Huff Post reader, it took me back to two particular times when my own mom and I were facing this issue.Without hitting her over the head with it, your asking questions in this way allows her to also take inventory of what makes her feel drawn to this person and may bring to light a new awareness for her. It makes so much sense that you would want to protect your daughter from going through any of the pain you've been through in your life.But just like I saw in the situation with that toxic ex-boyfriend, we sometimes need to walk through the fire ourselves to really own the lessons deep in our bones. says: Unless your daughter is hanging out with someone who is actually a true danger to her life, remember that you cannot really control who she is or isn't involved with.Even if my mom doesn't fully approve of one of my friends, she lets me still at least be friends with the person for a while.I think she wants me to realize for myself if the people around me are good friends and good influences.She and her daughter had always been very close -- that is, until her daughter's boyfriend Dan came into the picture.