Dating a deployed soldier
) 3 years as I talk to more and more military significant others who have successful relationships. Some of us genuinely like it; others of us put up with it because it is a condition of being attached to the person we love.And I want to be clear: those of us who date or marry someone in the military are no better or worse than any other significant other.This will be trying for you, but imagine how he feels. Military men have likely traveled to parts of the world you have not, and can tell you facts about different cultures/countries/states. Military men are used to being thrown into countries and situations with which they are unfamiliar, so when traveling, always expect to have a great navigator around.Expect sleepless nights, and bouts of being on the receiving end of awkward silences. You need to try your hardest to understand, get him to eventually talk about it (preferably to a professional) and pretty much avoid all triggers — like war movies. You will be inundated with more random facts about places like the Middle East or the South than you care to cram into your brain. I won a round of trivia just because I knew the currency in Bahrain. I am a sucker for someone who is passionate about his work. They are modern day heroes; if that’s not something to be proud of, I’m not quite sure what is! Basically, dating a Generation Y military man is no different than dating anyone else. His may be unimaginable to you, but that does not make him any better or worse.This list is not simply a composition of pros or cons, but rather an overview of what dating a service member active duty or veteran — is like. They are meant to be extremely close with this group of people and everyone else is simply on a need-to-know basis. It is not a competition between his military friends and you; they are people who shared a very intimate part of his life, and you should want to be close with them, too. He will love you fiercely and be the most faithful companion, if you can promise the same. Granted, that is earned due to the nature of their work and how much they put on the line.As the significant other, you will not get more details than necessary on anything unless you poke and prod. Related: The unconventional relationship is the norm in the military. However, in the civilian world, or in a relationship, it may be a little hard to deal with. Especially if he is coming from a higher rank, it may be increasingly difficult for him to “fall in line” with civilian life. Not every soldier comes home with post-traumatic stress.
Just keep in mind that the chances of him wanting to open up and talk about it — let alone seek help — are slim to none, at least at first.They can be tough for people in the most exclusive, committed relationships.If you know that you want to be with that person and you’re committed, then go for it! If your whole identity is wrapped up solely in your service member, it is going to be a tough, lonely life.Fun facts are everywhere, and it doesn’t hurt for you to sound more worldly too! Dating a service member is not all fun and games; it takes a lot of work and patience, but if you are interested in the person and not just the uniform, then he is definitely worth the pursuit.Also, if you are lucky enough to date one (or some!He is in the air force and his “tempo band” (I think that’s what it is called? What if I don’t send him as many as his friends get…will he break up with me? And of course…the ultimate question…what if he doesn’t come back? I saw a commercial about a soldier coming home and felt like I had been punched in the gut.