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No one else can tell you what you are feeling, so only by being in touch with your own emotions can you know if you’re ready.Everyone mourns differently, so widows/widowers must be careful not to let other people dictate the speed of their recovery.”“Too many variables to say what is right for anyone the old year thing is probably wise as a minimum. I didn’t quite make the 1 year wait to date thing…and I made a mess, I think I will use 5 years to remarry as a minimum.“This is variable, and having been married to a widower, been widowed and later marrying another widower as well as encountering several men on the widow/widower board, I have noticed that men seem to be ready earlier than women.Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.Be yourself and try to create your own unique and fulfilling relationship.What are important things to keep in mind when dating a widow/widower?
Make sure that you ask key questions, and be honest with each other.
How long does a widow/widower typically wait to start dating again? I was lonely for several years before my husband died.
I would have been dating again within a year if I had not been in a car accident that put me out of action for 9 months.
It is one thing to be supportive and allow space for the feelings and ebbs and flows of emotion which diminish over time, but I don’t think a person should be the widow/widower’s grief counselor.” Most people who’ve suffered a loss have already built a network of friends and/or family for support.
Many will choose to attend therapy or support groups for help dealing with their pain. When you are dating someone it should be about you and that person having a shared goal of creating a great relationship.Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.