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Her personality and hobbies are exactly identical to mine: she listens to Beyoncé, practices yoga and is a self-described health enthusiast. Number of Profile Views Stephanie got 27 views in one week. High-Grade Interactions Received (email) Stephanie received 5 emails in one week compared to my abysmal 1 email per week.
She’s looking for the same type of guy as me: at least 5’9”, athletic build, college educated with no kids. Quality of Emails Stephanie’s in-mail messages were generally crafted better.
It was idyllic in some ways—I can’t thank my parents enough for busting their asses through far more intolerant times than my own to make it our home—but being an “other” in a nearly homogeneous community had a profoundly destabilizing effect on my identity.
I didn’t recognize myself in the portrayals of black life I saw in pop culture, the few other black kids at my schools couldn’t understand why I “talked so white,” and nobody got why my first celebrity crush was Jeff Goldblum in (so scary, so sweaty, so sexy—am I right? And while I went full Becky in my youth, my older brother fell deep into Asian culture—Asian drag racing and, yes, Asian girlfriends.
And the people in my white hipster bubble I thought I had so much in common with? But as hurt as I felt, I would eventually look back at this as the start of a journey that would change the way I saw myself.
But it became clear he was fine with the sleep-friend situation we had, so I stopped seeing him. I became convinced there was something deeply wrong with me, but I didn’t know what it was.
I asked a good friend who is mixed race, “How do I start dating black people?
” She laughed at me: I was living in the artsy, mostly white Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, and she gently suggested I try hanging out in other places as a first step.
Head over to Google news and type in “black women” and “marriage” and you’ll be hit with a barrage of over-analysis on why no one wants us for marriage, in online dating, anywhere — and this fascination is strange seeing that black women are a mere 6% of the American population.
Madame Noire writer Christine Mwaturura came up with the ingenious plan of changing her race on a dating site to see exactly what life is like on the other side.Which reminds me: I hear Jeff Goldblum is into younger women.