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Yet when I asked him a week ago whether he had received the same advice I had, he couldn’t recall a single incident.
“Probably because people think I’m beyond saving,” he half-joked.
I am not married, haven’t had a serious relationship in nearly three years, and until recently had never wished I had a husband, never wondered “what else is there,” or felt pressure from anyone in my life to settle down.
But lately, I’ve been fielding a torrent of unsolicited pep talks from older people offering me advice on turning 30, an occasion I had erroneously thought had lost most of its connotation of impending doom.
But we’ve actively created our own, more positive societal changes as well.
We’re far more likely to go to college than our parents, especially if we’re women.
No, probably because people assume my male friend (who’s doing great, by the way) is fully qualified to make his own choices, whether relating to his career or his personal life.
Short of committing a felony, there are few decisions he could make at 30 that would irreversibly ruin his prospects. Meanwhile, my own benefit-of-the-doubt clock is running out even faster than the notorious biological one.
Aunts and uncles: I wasn’t worried until you told me not to worry!• Be doggedly attentive and affectionate -- do things for women, from grocery shopping to rubbing their tired feet to being a sociable party companion and more. But even if not, she has something to say and longs to be heard. Next time, we'll talk about sex and money, and start talking about some advice for women over 50 in the dating world.• But by far the most important advice I can give is LISTEN! Yes, money is important (I don't have much, so I can only assume from what I've heard), and being attractive is great (I'm not Clooney but I try my best.) But listening trumps them all. Being genuinely interested in hearing about their histories, their successes, their disappointments, their journeys yet to take. • And fourth, listening is an amazingly under-appreciated talent. Hearing someone's story and details about their life is what it's all about, as far as I'm concerned. The pressure in the form of pearls of wisdom began coming my way months before my birthday.One relative suggested I “stop moving across the country every few years,” so I could find someone to settle down with.When I surveyed a dozen highly educated female friends in their 30s, only two reported hearing classic tropes like “when are you going to think about settling down?